Quiet Quitting vs. Quiet Firing

What Ever Happened to Talking Out Loud?!? 

As a GenX-er who grew up in a culture of figuring things out for myself, I don’t remember ever having this much commentary about work—or anything for that matter. The idea of mentors or peers helping us navigate the workplace was not really a thing for learning how to be successful in my career either. We learned by watching our elders and by forging new paths. On our own. Against all odds. [cue the dramatic heroic music]

It was practically beat into me from the start that “the early bird gets the worm” because opportunities are rarely handed out so we needed to be first, and loudest, and best. We had to dominate and conquer to get what we wanted. This tone of spoken or unspoken rules told us that work was akin to war and something we had to survive. So we learned to be survivors. Only then, could some of us somehow manage to thrive?

So…the idea of quitting anything for any reason was simply unheard of until I was decades into adulthood. In fact, it was widely accepted that quitting means failure and speaking up means whining—neither of which are traits of good leaders. If we want to succeed, we take what we can get, fight for what we want, and deal with everything that comes our way.

And as a middle-aged mom female human (who also still happens to be managing my own business, household, family, and everything else with varying levels of success), I think there’s a lot of merit to the active rebellion later generations have taken on as they navigate too many toxic workplaces we accidentally created with our conquer-all mentality.

So it makes sense that people are now asking why we should allow our jobs to be some sort of badge of honor. Something with the power to overshadow everything else in our lives with ever-growing, unrealistic expectations of everyone as standard practice.

I don’t personally think any generation is getting it right. Not yet. At least not with this latest trend and battle of “quiet quitting” and “quiet firing”.

Without the hope of compromise, we all appear to be resorting to my kindergartner’s passive-aggressive refusal to budge. And just like I say to her, “I get it. This is frustrating. But this isn’t making it any easier. And we can do hard things.”

If success means meeting expectations (as updated annual performance review practices now tell us), why can’t employers just say what it is they actually expect?

• Is it because they don’t know what they expect but will just “know it when they see it”?

• Is it because they want us to show our natural fit without hints about what might be on the quiz?

• Is it because they are too overwhelmed with workplace turnover to take the time to sit down and really define what success looks like?

• Or is it because they are afraid that if they said what it is they really expect no one would sign up for that job?

After working with employers across nearly every sector, size, and purpose, I am starting to think that it is probably all of the above. And our poor managers have their own difficulties navigating success, customer/client satisfaction, and profits, amidst ever-changing strategies and guidance on what a healthy workplace needs.

Regardless, continuing to analyze and comment on WHY things are what they are is often not a helpful question to ask.

Instead, I propose we have the hard discussions about HOW we find better solutions.

Some days I feel like I have already experienced, watched, read, or listened to just about every idea, concept, matrix, template, or program that could possibly be contained in countless leadership books, workshops, podcasts, YouTube channels, and way-too-expensive series or certifications. Eventually, it all sounds the same but just comes in different packaging. But I think there is a clear common denominator. The key to success is self-awareness and good communication. That is how we identify and earn partners, profits, and opportunities every.single.time.

So enough with these silent battles. Battles only result in burnout or burned bridges. And no one wins with that approach.

I propose we stop all this “quiet” shouting and pouting near each other and just circle up like grownups to have a conversation. Out loud.

Let’s talk about what is important and why—for employers and employees.

Then we can spend our time actually figuring out how we work together to do just that.

Do you have the best tools and training to do this work? Let’s talk!