Shoot Out at the Hummingbird Feeder

Hummingbirds are meaner than you think. It’s easy to believe they are docile, timid creatures because they are so darn cute and tiny.  I’ve seen pictures of hummingbird feeders with several birds peacefully slurping at once.

Not at my feeder. I have a pair. They are city-folk. Unbothered by me or my dog, Franni. They are undisturbed by firetruck sirens or lawn mowers. They even like my kind of music. I worry about them in the winter. Come spring, I watch my feeder daily awaiting the sound of their whirl and feel relieved with my first sighting.  

But whenever competition comes in for a slurp, the male divebombs and drives them away. Just this morning I saw a “swarm” of four males divebombing each other. It was intense!

I tend to think my bird is protecting his food source because it’s worth protecting.

Perhaps he is protecting his mate because that is his instinct.

Maybe he is protecting me and Franni because he’s chivalrous.  

But whatever it is, he is protecting something.

And we all can relate to that, right? We have all had those moments that boil our blood or raise our hackles, because we felt attacked. It could be the condescending, superior way someone spoke to us. It could be aggressive posturing. It could be a total lack of respect. Maybe being blamed for something that wasn’t your fault. Feeling powerless. The examples are endless, but I bet you can think of more than a few times this happened to you.

Now, if you are a Predictive Index Captain like me, you run towards the problem, like my warrior hummingbird.  But not everyone is like me. Some people shut down in the face of conflict. They may seem OK, but rest assured, inside they are not. And at that moment you have lost the heart of that employee without even knowing it. And once it’s gone, it’s gone.

Here’s the bad news: as a manager or leader, you create this response in others more often than you might think without ever intending to. We speak and take action without thinking about how the other person will receive it. We are under stress, often in a hurry, or believe we are being effective communicators.

But take heart, all is not lost. This is where a little self-awareness can go a long, long way.

I know, I know, you are thinking right now of someone who needs to hear this.  And while that may be true, you need to hear it, too. Because we all have the power to hurt others, whether it is intentional or not. And if you are serious about having a team that is committed and passionate the first place to start is a look in the mirror.

Even elite athletes have performance coaches. If you are serious about being the best people leader you can be, investing in yourself is never a bad thing. You will develop deeper self-awareness, more confidence, less stress, and a committed team that delivers incredible results. That sounds like a Win-Win for everyone.

If you would like to understand how your team sees you, contact me. Cindy@SmartLeader.io